Superbowl Sunday.



Barleywine and bourbon stout for Superbowl Sunday, sold to me by the most clueless, bored employee ever. Look, I’d work in a liquor store just to wax poetic about beer, gin and champagne cocktails to every poor bastard that comes to my register. If you work in a high-end liquor store, you should not only know the barleywine in my hand, but at least three others. You’d better own that sh*t!

(clears throat) Superbowl Menu: Tapas. Cheese-stuffed bacon-wrapped dates, miniature spicy sausage omelet medallions, pan-fried oyster mushrooms, seared scallops, and of course, the obligate nachos.

Raspberry Fizz.


Still one of my favorite labors of love, cocktail-wise: A Raspberry Fizz, this time made with French Chambord topped with champagne. The lovely creaminess comes from a raw egg white that is separately dry shaken (no ice) with lemon juice and powdered sugar (to chemically cook) before being added to a Chambord-lined coup glass (my mod) and topped with champagne. Please note: if you’re not comfortable using raw eggs for cocktails, pasteurized egg whites (and yolks) can be found in any decent grocery store.


Gin Tasting Notes: Spirit Hound Distillers Gin


Spirit Hound Distillers Gin

The next in my ongoing gin tasting series is Spirit Hound Distillers Gin, produced just down the road in Lyons, and comes recommended to me by at least two people. It’s produced with locally grown “juniper berries, anise, fennel, clove, and cinnamon.” However, the anise overpowers all else in this gin, so if you like anise, then I’ve got a gin for you. Strongly reminiscent of absinthe (but with none of the fun), it transforms a 4:1 clean martini into a taste close to Nyquil. Even the best vermouth cowers in the corner with this gin. If you prefer your martinis dirty, you’ll still grimace with every sip. So unless this gin proves awesome in my champagne cocktails, I’ll be assigning it to my emergency medical supplies as disinfectant.

TV Dinners.

Living off TV dinners and take-out for 3 days, I’m reminded of things I regularly forget:

1) Commercial food photography is amazing. The savory pictures on these TV dinner boxes are such a flaunt of truth in advertising laws that it’s breathtaking. Please come take my picture, too – if I look half as good as that picture of pot roast, I’ll be the talk of the town.

2) Home cooking is awesome, even if it is exhausting. When “I’ll just pour some gin into my leftover lemonade” becomes a better dinner option, you know you’ve been consuming some seriously shady shit.

You’re Doing it Wrong.

You’re Doing it Wrong.



Well, golly! The elliptical cup holder perfectly fits a martini! Was I supposed to be looking at the display on this thing? Because that’s where my android TV keyboard goes. Those TV shows won’t watch themselves. I believe this whole setup is called “You’re doing it wrong.” Or right. I’m not sure.