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Step Up Your Martini Game.

Step Up Your Martini Game.

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Christmas present. Thanks Sis! I had this gem on my Amazon wishlist for quite awhile and she finally obliged me. I already switched out the “modern” (bird bath sized) martini glasses for a pair of smaller vintage ones.

I know what you’re thinking: Isn’t this a bit superfluous? Do you really need a dedicated cocktail case? First, I want you to envision yourself: Cocktail Aficionado, esteemed by friends and family alike. Will they invite you to their parties? Will they expect you to dazzle them with a recipe or three? Of course they will. Now, I want you to imagine yourself pulling an open cardboard box out of the trunk of your car and huffing up the walkway to your host’s house, bottles and glasses clinking, as you hope there’s no cat or dog underfoot to send you diving face-first into a mess of glass and wasted vermouth. Seems a bit more appealing now, doesn’t it? I bet.

Or, if that scenario doesn’t suit, just imagine the next family Thanksgiving, with those one or two intolerable relatives talking nonstop, and nothing on the table but sparkling cider. You’re welcome.

You’re Doing it Wrong.

You’re Doing it Wrong.

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Well, golly! The elliptical cup holder perfectly fits a martini! Was I supposed to be looking at the display on this thing? Because that’s where my android TV keyboard goes. Those TV shows won’t watch themselves. I believe this whole setup is called “You’re doing it wrong.” Or right. I’m not sure.

In Pursuit of the Perfect Martini Glass.

In Pursuit of the Perfect Martini Glass.
 
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Martinis. This is a good glass – short, soft, not birdbath sized. It was hell finding a decent glass, that wasn’t too tall or with razor sharp edges (Bormioli), etched with tacky frosted patterns (Mikasa – really??), painted and nearly unwashable (Etsy), painted with lips or encrusted with jewels (I’m looking at you, Lolita), crazy overpriced (Riedel), or with zigzag stems or in packs of 15 (Libby). I found this glass AT THE DOLLAR STORE. There you go.

Now, Nik’s Retro Dirty as Hell Perfect Martini: Wash interior of glass with sweet vermouth, dump out. 1 1/2 ounces of gin, 1/2 ounce of dry vermouth stirred with ice and strained into glass, 2 olives, a dash of orange bitters (from vintage recipe) and a nice healthy splash of the olive juice. I know, I have no olive picks yet. Those come Friday. Stainless steel, baby.