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Wanted: Poolside Martini Maker.

I’ve drafted an ad for the local job listings: “Wanted: Poolside Martini Maker. Applicants must be able to respond to nonverbal cues to produce an ice-cold, classic 3:1 gin martini with minimal variation within three minutes. Will train. Adequate shade and food will be provided. Upon successful trial, a permanent weekday position may be offered. James Bond martini recipe advocates need not apply.”